So, were home...
I really don't know what to do with my life. How do you go from being so engulfed in a community, so submerged in ministry, so overwhelmed with beauty to a summer vacation? I find myself waking up at 5:30 in the morning missing my team. I feel lost with the amount of time I have to do things, and the lack of things to do.
There are moments of loneliness, moments of grieving what was left behind, moments of feeling depressed. But with those come moments of clarity. Moments where I can see what God did, not only in my life but in the lives of my beautiful team. And it is in those moments that I rejoice. It is in those moments when I become so excited for our futures that I cannot help but jump up and down and dance.
And even though I am on a crazy roller coaster of ups and downs, one thing remains consistent: this overwhelming sense of peace and direction with what has and will happen. Although drastically life changing, this past month has been but a stepping stone in what God wants to do with our lives.
The question now stands, are we going to be able to march on and embrace the stepping stones, building blocks and hurdles to come with the freedom of what we earned in South Africa?
Ryan
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Oh my gosh you guys!
Alright, mild confession time. Despite the fact that we have officially been here for a little over three weeks, I have yet to post a blog on here. Part of this is because I have been super busy with life, and the other part is because I have been posting things on my other blog. Ugh I am such a failure!! But Johnny had asked me to for sure put something up today, so this is what I had written last night on my blog, piercedforhislegacy.
So the other day, while working in the garden of this healthcare facility called Options, I had a very sudden and abrupt realization, spurred from an incredible conversation with one of my dear friends, Carel. (Pronounced Carle, I make fun of him for his name all the time)
I have been a good person my whole life. But, being a good person doesn’t mean I lived a meaningful life. For you see, there is a difference between a good person and righteous person. Good people are people who are quite pleasant to be around. They are the people who make you laugh, make you smile; make you think ‘wow, this person is definitely a quality person!’ We all know good people, we all love good people. As a nation, we tend to try to put these types of people on a pedestal.
But a righteous person… A righteous person is the type of person that when you come into contact with them, you know, deep inside of you, you know that there is something intensely divine. For a righteous person is a person who walks faithfully into things that us ‘good' people would never dream about daring. A righteous person will continually lay down their life, each and every day, for the things that God calls them into. A righteous person is anointed, called by the God who called the stars into their splendor.
No one would dare to degrade Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr. or the Apostle Paul to the status of a ‘good’ person. So why are we so eager to promote a ‘good’ person to something more? Yesterday the pastor of a drug rehab safe house talked to us about how God is the only one who can promote. If we are promoted by another person, is it really something worth having?
We have all heard the question, ‘Well my Dad didn’t accept Jesus, but he sure was a good man. He did x y and z and helped all these people. Isn’t he in Heaven?’ I don’t want to argue either way, because honestly I don’t know — I am just on a slight tangent. But I do know that Scripture says that Jesus is the only way to the father. Now does that mean I am going to limit Jesus and bound him in the confinements of time? No, I think that, although it may not be the case always, God can do more in the last three milliseconds of a person’s life than we could do in an entire lifetime.
However, I digress. Like I said, I have been a good person my whole life. With that said, I spent my whole life missing the point. I allowed myself to get tangled up in all of the things of this world, placing girls, pride, greed, selfishness, (the list goes on and on) as priorities in my life. I lived, as a good person, for me for the first 18 years of my life. And then, two years ago God rocked my world on a ski trip with some of my most cherished friends. Most of you know the story. For those of you who don’t, early January, 2009 God spoke into my rebellious life and told me that I was missing the point: that although I was a good boy who sometimes got into trouble, I was destined for so much more. Long story short, I jump with both feet and two years later find myself here in South Africa. Who knew?!
But last Wednesday I found myself standing in the middle of this garden, mud caked on my hands and knees, sweat dripping off my forehead, still missing the point. As I drove that shovel into the dirt, I couldn’t help but think about how much time I spent these past two years in a place where I thought I was so different from everyone around me, that I was so holy, that I was the next best thing since fried bread, that I was the only one who actually got it. Damn was I wrong. I spent so much time being proud of who God had called me to be, that I completely forgot to look at my life in context of the Bible. I just based who I was in comparison to who was around me.
But being here in South Africa, watching these people stand up against the impossible with a faith that they will succeed, walking with them as they do succeed and make progress, I have been made very aware of how ordinary my life really is. Sure, back in the states I am that crazy kid who broke up with the girl because God wanted him to. Sure, I’m the kid who went and lived homeless in San Diego for a couple days because God called him to test his faith. Ya, I’m even the kid that dropped a full ride to ASU because God called him to APU. I mean it is true, I am very different from a lot of my friends in that I am a little crazy — I mean I hang off of rocks for a pastime. But oh my gosh you guys, I am so much of this world that honestly, do I truly understand Jesus?
Is it my faith that sets me apart? Or is it the confidence in my own abilities, my own personality, my own character traits that I allow to set me apart? For you see, I am beginning to realize that it is the latter.
In the Bible, Jesus doesn’t tell his disciples to go out and lead large congregations of people back to the place Jesus was standing. He didn’t command them to please anyone, impress anyone, or even make anyone smile. No, Jesus told his disciples to go out and heal the sick, cast out demons and raise people from the dead. And you know what? If we are going to be honest, I don’t have the faith to walk up to this boy I met in the township and command Satan out of his life. I don’t have the faith to walk up to this beautiful crippled old woman and tell her to get up and walk. And I sure as hell don’t have the faith to walk through the simple wooden tombstone graveyard and raise the dead.
Why? Well it’s quite simple really. I’m afraid. I’m afraid that I will try and that God won’t empower it to happen. I’m afraid that I will look crazy. I afraid because I doubt. I doubt because I don’t have enough faith.
Now I know there are people back home reading this thinking “Ryan, that stuff doesn’t happen anymore.” Well, it does actually. It’s just that we are so immune to the things we need healing and deliverance from in our won culture that we neglect to see the times when people in our culture are actually healed from their illness, or when they truly are set free from their demons. Go talk to a recovering alcoholic about generational curses, or a rape victim about soul ties. It is very real, whether or not we want to admit it.
When David killed Goliath he didn’t stop to ask God “hey God, are you sure you want me to do this? God, you anointed me right? I mean I am the one who is supposed to do this?” No, when David saw oppression, when David saw the fear that Goliath struck into the hearts of God’s chosen people, he stepped up immediately. There was no fear in David’s actions, no hesitation, no doubt. He acted in the faithful understanding of God’s call on his life. Doubt is not from God. Confusion and stagnation is not from God.
If we see people being oppressed, no matter how that looks, we have the responsibility to stand up against it, and the authority with which to do so. We are so powerful we don’t even understand! That is one of the biggest tricks of the Devil. And damnit, he will take every single thing that we give him. So why do we continue to give him so much? Why do we continue to give up that authority we are so empowered by and trade it in for fear and doubt? Why do we continue to hide behind the haze that Satan is stronger than we could be?
Yes, Satan is very strong, but who are we? We are bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ. And with the ruler of the universe moving in and through us, we are unstoppable!
I am beginning to trust in the authority with which we are all given when we choose to live a life worthy of taking on God’s surname. I have a very long way to go and a lot to learn, but I am done quivering behind the idea that I am too young, that I don’t know enough Scripture, that I don’t have a faith strong enough. It is that doubt that Satan uses, and it is that doubt that holds us back.
I don’t know where you are at, but I am tired of missing the point.
Ryan
So the other day, while working in the garden of this healthcare facility called Options, I had a very sudden and abrupt realization, spurred from an incredible conversation with one of my dear friends, Carel. (Pronounced Carle, I make fun of him for his name all the time)
I have been a good person my whole life. But, being a good person doesn’t mean I lived a meaningful life. For you see, there is a difference between a good person and righteous person. Good people are people who are quite pleasant to be around. They are the people who make you laugh, make you smile; make you think ‘wow, this person is definitely a quality person!’ We all know good people, we all love good people. As a nation, we tend to try to put these types of people on a pedestal.
But a righteous person… A righteous person is the type of person that when you come into contact with them, you know, deep inside of you, you know that there is something intensely divine. For a righteous person is a person who walks faithfully into things that us ‘good' people would never dream about daring. A righteous person will continually lay down their life, each and every day, for the things that God calls them into. A righteous person is anointed, called by the God who called the stars into their splendor.
No one would dare to degrade Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr. or the Apostle Paul to the status of a ‘good’ person. So why are we so eager to promote a ‘good’ person to something more? Yesterday the pastor of a drug rehab safe house talked to us about how God is the only one who can promote. If we are promoted by another person, is it really something worth having?
We have all heard the question, ‘Well my Dad didn’t accept Jesus, but he sure was a good man. He did x y and z and helped all these people. Isn’t he in Heaven?’ I don’t want to argue either way, because honestly I don’t know — I am just on a slight tangent. But I do know that Scripture says that Jesus is the only way to the father. Now does that mean I am going to limit Jesus and bound him in the confinements of time? No, I think that, although it may not be the case always, God can do more in the last three milliseconds of a person’s life than we could do in an entire lifetime.
However, I digress. Like I said, I have been a good person my whole life. With that said, I spent my whole life missing the point. I allowed myself to get tangled up in all of the things of this world, placing girls, pride, greed, selfishness, (the list goes on and on) as priorities in my life. I lived, as a good person, for me for the first 18 years of my life. And then, two years ago God rocked my world on a ski trip with some of my most cherished friends. Most of you know the story. For those of you who don’t, early January, 2009 God spoke into my rebellious life and told me that I was missing the point: that although I was a good boy who sometimes got into trouble, I was destined for so much more. Long story short, I jump with both feet and two years later find myself here in South Africa. Who knew?!
But last Wednesday I found myself standing in the middle of this garden, mud caked on my hands and knees, sweat dripping off my forehead, still missing the point. As I drove that shovel into the dirt, I couldn’t help but think about how much time I spent these past two years in a place where I thought I was so different from everyone around me, that I was so holy, that I was the next best thing since fried bread, that I was the only one who actually got it. Damn was I wrong. I spent so much time being proud of who God had called me to be, that I completely forgot to look at my life in context of the Bible. I just based who I was in comparison to who was around me.
But being here in South Africa, watching these people stand up against the impossible with a faith that they will succeed, walking with them as they do succeed and make progress, I have been made very aware of how ordinary my life really is. Sure, back in the states I am that crazy kid who broke up with the girl because God wanted him to. Sure, I’m the kid who went and lived homeless in San Diego for a couple days because God called him to test his faith. Ya, I’m even the kid that dropped a full ride to ASU because God called him to APU. I mean it is true, I am very different from a lot of my friends in that I am a little crazy — I mean I hang off of rocks for a pastime. But oh my gosh you guys, I am so much of this world that honestly, do I truly understand Jesus?
Is it my faith that sets me apart? Or is it the confidence in my own abilities, my own personality, my own character traits that I allow to set me apart? For you see, I am beginning to realize that it is the latter.
In the Bible, Jesus doesn’t tell his disciples to go out and lead large congregations of people back to the place Jesus was standing. He didn’t command them to please anyone, impress anyone, or even make anyone smile. No, Jesus told his disciples to go out and heal the sick, cast out demons and raise people from the dead. And you know what? If we are going to be honest, I don’t have the faith to walk up to this boy I met in the township and command Satan out of his life. I don’t have the faith to walk up to this beautiful crippled old woman and tell her to get up and walk. And I sure as hell don’t have the faith to walk through the simple wooden tombstone graveyard and raise the dead.
Why? Well it’s quite simple really. I’m afraid. I’m afraid that I will try and that God won’t empower it to happen. I’m afraid that I will look crazy. I afraid because I doubt. I doubt because I don’t have enough faith.
Now I know there are people back home reading this thinking “Ryan, that stuff doesn’t happen anymore.” Well, it does actually. It’s just that we are so immune to the things we need healing and deliverance from in our won culture that we neglect to see the times when people in our culture are actually healed from their illness, or when they truly are set free from their demons. Go talk to a recovering alcoholic about generational curses, or a rape victim about soul ties. It is very real, whether or not we want to admit it.
When David killed Goliath he didn’t stop to ask God “hey God, are you sure you want me to do this? God, you anointed me right? I mean I am the one who is supposed to do this?” No, when David saw oppression, when David saw the fear that Goliath struck into the hearts of God’s chosen people, he stepped up immediately. There was no fear in David’s actions, no hesitation, no doubt. He acted in the faithful understanding of God’s call on his life. Doubt is not from God. Confusion and stagnation is not from God.
If we see people being oppressed, no matter how that looks, we have the responsibility to stand up against it, and the authority with which to do so. We are so powerful we don’t even understand! That is one of the biggest tricks of the Devil. And damnit, he will take every single thing that we give him. So why do we continue to give him so much? Why do we continue to give up that authority we are so empowered by and trade it in for fear and doubt? Why do we continue to hide behind the haze that Satan is stronger than we could be?
Yes, Satan is very strong, but who are we? We are bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ. And with the ruler of the universe moving in and through us, we are unstoppable!
I am beginning to trust in the authority with which we are all given when we choose to live a life worthy of taking on God’s surname. I have a very long way to go and a lot to learn, but I am done quivering behind the idea that I am too young, that I don’t know enough Scripture, that I don’t have a faith strong enough. It is that doubt that Satan uses, and it is that doubt that holds us back.
I don’t know where you are at, but I am tired of missing the point.
Ryan
"When the praises goes high, His blessings comes down"
This morning we returned to worship with our brothers and sisters at Service to Glory Ministries in Thembalethu, a black township in George. As with our visit there last week, we were astounded by their hospitality. As soon as we walked in, the music director began to translate for us, and we all learned some incredible new dance moves during worship. My favorite song had a beautiful chorus, which we sang in both English and Xhosa, and the English translation went, "When the praises goes high, His blessings comes down." God's blessings were definitely coming down upon us.
They then called upon their "sister pastor from America" to come and share a word. I felt humbled and blessed to be granted the opportunity to share some what God has been teaching me during my time here in South Africa from Romans 8:18-27 on patience and freedom. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would take control of my words and I've never felt the Spirit's presence so strongly while speaking. I can truthfully say that it was not me but He who lives in me--I cannot even remember what I said.
I find it hard to believe that we will be back stateside in 10 days. Our time here has been beautiful and rich, and it has flown by. The realization that we will be leaving soon is starting to sink in for many of us, and I ask you to pray for us as we relish our remaining time in South Africa and prepare to return home.
We've alo been blessed to have Chiraphone, APU's Office of World Missions director here with us for the past few days as she makes her way around to visit all of the APU teams currently in Africa. Please pray for her as she leaves us here in George today and continues around the continent.
They then called upon their "sister pastor from America" to come and share a word. I felt humbled and blessed to be granted the opportunity to share some what God has been teaching me during my time here in South Africa from Romans 8:18-27 on patience and freedom. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would take control of my words and I've never felt the Spirit's presence so strongly while speaking. I can truthfully say that it was not me but He who lives in me--I cannot even remember what I said.
I find it hard to believe that we will be back stateside in 10 days. Our time here has been beautiful and rich, and it has flown by. The realization that we will be leaving soon is starting to sink in for many of us, and I ask you to pray for us as we relish our remaining time in South Africa and prepare to return home.
We've alo been blessed to have Chiraphone, APU's Office of World Missions director here with us for the past few days as she makes her way around to visit all of the APU teams currently in Africa. Please pray for her as she leaves us here in George today and continues around the continent.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
A New Video
Hey everyone, we met a "manly man" as he would call himself. He wanted us to record a video of him. These South Africans are crazy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYK_dl-Lgy4
Be on the lookout from a more serious video blog about our time here in the next few days.
God is really on the move.
THank you all for your prayers and support!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYK_dl-Lgy4
Be on the lookout from a more serious video blog about our time here in the next few days.
God is really on the move.
THank you all for your prayers and support!
Monday, May 30, 2011
A thought...
When we go to church, what do we look for? Are there certain things that are required and some things that need to be left out? Are there certain aspects of church that we with our incredibly small reasoning are not “God pleasing?” I encourage you all to consider the many different ways people may worship God. We have brothers and sisters all over the world worshipping the same God that sent His son Jesus to die for us.
Do you ever have that feeling that you are exactly where you need to be at the exact time that you are there? Is there an overwhelming sense of peace and tranquility that all you can do is smile and be thankful? Almost as if there was something out there specifically placing you where you are and nothing can take you away. Today I stood inside of a small church in South Africa declaring that the Lord is mighty and thanking Him for directing my path to a simple black picnic chair. A chair that has been awaiting my arrival, knowing that when I sit I would feel as if it was made for me and me only.
The church that we went to today was beautiful in so many ways. God was in that sanctuary of worship and the Holy Spirit moved in and out through the air in between, behind, and in front of desperate, needy disciples. It is only when you see in the physical world that the structure of the building, the dirty floor, and the dusty curtains are not beautiful. But once again, I ask you, what do you require of a church before you are able to seek God in it? Would the imperfections of that building motivate you to walk back out the door?
If you were to stick around you would start to see beyond the physical structure of what was in front of you but feel the beauty of a God so pleased with his children crying out to him. Today, God reminded me that fancy equipment, projectors, bulletins, comfortable chairs, and clean carpets are not needed in order for his presence to be welcomed. When all you have is close to nothing, your dependence on God is more severe. I saw that today during the entire 4 hours of service. I saw people on their knees crying to their Savior. They were in need of a few blessings to get them through the next week in order to be back on their knees again. During the offering I saw the faces of nervous people relying on nothing but their faith of the hope for a financial blessing to come their way. They walked to the front of the altar in faith and placed what they had to give in the small basket on the stage.
I thank God for the church that I went to today. I am learning that the simplest things in the world can be the most beautiful, if you look past seeing everything with just your eyes. I can honestly say that today was the best church experience I have had in that past 3 years.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Our Latest Video Blog!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSrt3q8R3Ms
We went on a hike and here is what I have to say about it!!!
-Johnny
We went on a hike and here is what I have to say about it!!!
-Johnny
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